5 Ways to Stay Present in a Conversation with Someone Who Talks in Circles

Renee Miller - Wednesday, November 21, 2018

communicationHave you ever been accused of not staying present in a conversation?  Do you find yourself "leaving the conversation" once it feels like the other person is talking in circles or repeating their points in order to drive their point home, like a stake through your brain?  Do you find that you start doing things like creating your defense to slam them with once they come up for air? Or maybe you use that time to make your grocery list.  Perhaps you have the argument you would like to have with them, only in your head.  Maybe you find yourself becoming frustrated and literally leave the room to end the conversation altogether. 


Using the 4 Elements to Ground Yourself When PTSD Takes Hold

Renee Miller - Thursday, October 18, 2018

When we experience a traumatic event, aspects of the event can trigger us out of the blue, leaving us feeling like we are in the middle of the traumatic moment once again. The autonomic branch of the central nervous system is responsible for our automatic processes like breathing, heart rate, lens dilation and contraction, digestive processes, and "acting without thinking."
 


The Phoenix...She Rises!

Renee Miller - Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Life has an interesting way of reflecting externally that which is occurring inwardly, showing us what needs attention within the internal landscape. I believe that we, as humans, live mostly unconsciously…not really paying attention to patterns, themes, strategies, discrepancies, and shifts (the other PTSDs) in our day to day lives. It is not until we are hit with some sort of tragedy, trauma, loss, disturbing, or disquieting situation or event that we are forced to stop and pay attention.  


THINK Before You Speak!

Renee Miller - Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Recently, I was presented with a situation where someone said something that they felt was critical to express in a very harsh and hurtful manner. Apparently, they did not think about their words before they said them. When confronted about those words, they were unable to really justify why they chose to communicate in the way they had. 


Herd Healing by Gabrielle Applebury, MA

Renee Miller - Wednesday, September 12, 2018

First responders often experience traumatic and distressing events multiple times a day. This intense line of work can leave many with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), grief, anxiety, depression, and anger. Some may may reach for unhealthy ways to soothe, numb, or block the images they witness daily, or the pain they experience if they have work related injuries, which can lead to problems with substance use, abuse, and addiction. These distressing symptoms may impact one’s relationships, work life, and overall wellbeing. 


When Your Child's Heart is Beyond Broken...Loving Them Through the Pain

Renee Miller - Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Seventeen years ago, when my youngest was 5, he was impaled on a rod iron fence in the neighbor's yard, as he tried to hop the fence to fetch a ball. 


Parenting When we Feel Activated or Triggered by our Children by Gabrielle Applebury, MA

Renee Miller - Monday, September 10, 2018

As parents, it can be difficult to do our jobs when something from our past negatively impacts our ability to care for our children the way we would like. Sometimes this past lens distorts the situation at hand and we unknowingly become triggered by trauma or attachment injuries we experienced as children. The tricky thing about trauma is that our brain stores it in a way that protects us in the moment, but some aspects of the memory can remain unconscious and drive our behavior. Often triggers come up during the more challenging parenting moments, like tantrums, siblings fighting with each other, and screaming. The following is a list of ways we can work towards identifying our triggers while parenting effectively. 


​What my three-legged pup taught me about projections and discrepancies by Gabrielle Applebury, MA

Renee Miller - Saturday, August 18, 2018

As my husband and I were walking our dog Lily today, we began to notice something strange. People tended to have strong reactions to her presence, be it positive or negative. Lily is a Staffordshire terrier (AKA a type of pit bull) and is missing her front leg. Lily is six months old, forty pounds and completely able to get herself around. Out of the ten or so people who reacted, the following were the most notable: 


Self-Limiting Beliefs in the Making

Renee Miller - Tuesday, August 14, 2018

My husband and I like to sit at the bar at our favorite restaurant because the service is faster and the bartenders are super friendly. Whether we enjoy a cocktail with our dinner or not, it is our preferred spot in this restaurant. I am always curious, and sometimes a bit perturbed, when parents bring their small children to sit at the bar to eat. It is not a really a place for children to be seated. It does not allow for them to move around easily, as say, sitting at a table or a booth would allow. There is usually adult conversation occurring, along with those who come for the sole purpose of drinking, quite liberally, at the bar. And, most importantly, it doesn't allow for children to really be seen and heard by their parents as the seats are facing the bar. Everytime, and I really mean everytime, a parent has seated themselves with their children at the bar, the parent has their eyes glued either to the game on the large screen TVs or to their phones, looking up only when engaged in discussion with the bartender, another adult at the bar, or when the child has the nerve to ask them a question, only to be told to "be quiet and color or eat." Thus, the children are left to color and eat in silence. So yes, I get a bit perturbed when I see this. 


Surviving Your Teen’s Growing Pains What Every Parent Needs to Understand About Adolescence by Josh Soto, LMFT

Renee Miller - Sunday, March 19, 2017

 



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